I'm not to sure of things as of this moment.
Should I be in a relationship should I not?
Been struggling in this for a while am still seeking.
But for one thing I'm sure of this is my heart's cry no matter how bad or how wrong it is at the end of the day.
Having learnt from enrich last friday about yearning.
I am yearning for love and friendship and I'm not sure how to go about that.
I'm sick of it all, sick of it all...


A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

Celebrated Fabian's 26th Birthday last week.
At Vic Park at some pub/restaurant.
The food there was not bad and reasonably priced.
Also last week was the first time for me exercising for a long time.
Exercised with a group of people at King's Park Jacob's Ladder.
Pretty tiring after that felt sick for a while.
Anyways on Saturday went to watch football match at Burswood with a few people after that then went to Paddy's for a bit then headed to Utopia for bubble tea but the kitchen was already closed so went to the other places that sells bubble tea. In the end finally got myself a bubble tea.
We then headed back to Utopia to see if the Karaoake was available but it still wasn't so we decided to head back home because it was already so late.

Where am I headed?
Where am I going?
At this point of time I have no clue at all.
Just doing the usual which doesn't really satisfy or mean anything.
Life should be a breeze but it's so damn confusing and complicated.
What have I done right or what have I done wrong.
Without much guidance or help along the way.
Am I to selfish or did I just walk the long and hard way the difficult path which should actually be so easy if I just obeyed and trust and relied on friends and on teachers.
What have I done for 6 years.
I'm so lost in it all just over my head.
What is friendship which I don't even try at all.
It ain't just easy for me, I've think I've lost it.
But all I'm clinging onto right now is HIM who will enable me and all things are possible in HIM through HIM.

I'm extremely happy today because first up Tafe called me and told me that my wallet is safe with them. All my cards are in it except for money. Thank God and yes I believed that he has kept it safe for me. Will be collecting it today in the late afternoon.

OMG I'm in big trouble. I didn't realise I lost my wallet until after dinner.
Sob my Singapore Identification Card is in it. Man am so going to call up Tafe tomorrow because if it's lost then it's very troublesome because will have to report a lost Identification Card. Will take a long time for the processing of a new Identification Card.

Hey There Delilah

1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

4. I’m not tagging anyone because I’m just doing this for being bored.


IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
Put Ya Money Where Ya Mouth Is! - Oasis

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Still in Love - Brooke Fraser

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Before It’s too Late - Goo Goo Dolls

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Enough Crying - Mary J Blige

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Your Not Alone - Saosin

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Sweet Thing - Keith Urban

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Who Needs Love - Razorlight

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Sorry Blame Me - Akon

WHAT IS 2+2?
Great DJ - The Ting Tings

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Do The Moo Shoo - Veggie Tales

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Beautiful Savior - Casting Crowns

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
I Found Out - The Pidgeon Detectives

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
My Window - Save The Last Dance Soundtrack

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
A Paris - Celine Dion & Les 500 Choristes

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
It’s All About You - McFly

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
(So I’ll Sit Here)Waiting - The Like

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Banner - Casting Crowns

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Make Me Better - Fabolous ft NeYo

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Get It On The Floor - DMX

WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Superman - Ronan Keating

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Home - Chris Daughtry

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Grenade Jumper - Various Artist

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Big Girls Don’t Cry - Fergie

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Achmed the Dead Terrorist - Jeff Dunham

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
One to Ten - Se7en

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
She’s So Lovely - Scouting For Girls

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Drop - Timbaland & Magoo ft Fatman Scoop

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
In This Life - Delta Goodrem

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
I’m Sorry - Boa

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Hey There Delilah - Plain White Tee’s

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,

“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”

Mary Stevenson, 1936

Got this from Hannah Choo's livejournal...

***********FOOD-OLOGY***************

What is your salad dressing of choice?
Caesar dressing.

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Hmm actually don't have one.

What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it?
Maybe Spaghetti.

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Personal choice would be mushrooms, chicken, mozarella.

What do you like to put on your toast?
Strawberry Jam or Peanut Butter.

**********TECHNOLOGY***************

How many television sets are in your house?
One HD Tv the rests not in use probably another 2.

What color of cell phone do you have?
White and red.

***************BIOLOGY******************
Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right.

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Nope.

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
The vacuum cleaner.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Nope!

************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Of course not!

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Yeh but then again I don't have an english name so not to sure what I would change it to.

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Depends what hot sauce it is.

************DUMBOLOGY******************

How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
3

Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
Haven't been in one.

Last person you talked to?
Dad.

Last person you hugged?
Dad!

**************FAVORITOLOGY****************

Season?
Hmmm depends love the cold winter maybe depends probably autumn.

Holiday?
Christmas celebration.

Day of the week?
Friday

Month?
Jan

***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************

Missing someone?
Yes...

Mood?
Uncomfortable.

What are you listening to?
Secondhand Seranade - Fall for you.

Watching?
Actually reading a manga.

Worrying about?
Tafe and studies and friends.

***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************

First place you went this morning?
Toilet.

What's the last movie you saw?
Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging(on the computer)

Do you smile often?
Not really

QUESTIONS

1)Do you always answer your phone?
Yes.

2) It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Hmm nobody.

3) If you could change your eye color what would it be?
Dark brown maybe.

4) What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
What's sonic?

5) Do you own a digital camera?
No I really want to.

6) Have you ever had a pet fish?
Yes many many many years ago fighthing fish!

7) Favorite Christmas song?
Don't actually have one.

8) What's on your wish list for your birthday?
Haha my birthday just passed.

9) Can you do push ups?
Not really.

10) Can you do a chin up?
Nope!

11) Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Nervous very nervous.

12) Do you have any saved texts?
Yes.

13) Ever been in a car wreck?
Don't think so but then again parents did say when I was like a baby or something.

14) Do you have an accent?
Not really probably a Singaporean one but then with my Aussie friends yeh will put on one.

15) What is the last song to make you cry?
Hmm haven't really had one.

16) Plans tonight?
Nope apart from reading.

17) Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Yes now and then.

18) Name 3 things you bought in the last week
School fees, food, and more food.

19) Have you ever been given roses?
Never.

20) Current worry?
Future, studies, job, friends.

21) Current hate right now?
Who I am right now.

22) Met someone who changed your life?
Hmm can't remember.

23) How did you bring in the New Year!
Lol funny one came back from the coach from malaysia to singapore arrived just before countdown and fireworks appear.

24) What song represents you?
At the moment I don't have one.

25) Name three people who might complete this?
I don't care!

26) What were you doing at 12 AM last night?
Hehe watching Green Forest, My Home on Youtube.

27) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
Woot no Tafe today! Can just laze around.

Arhhh I so miss my brother since his been gone for a very long time!
Been reading the book that my dad has passed me it's called The Shack.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Shack

First day back at Tafe today was ok had only one class.
Was a bit late I guess but then again didn't mix with the group.
My eyes hurt, hy head hurt must be the weather.
Having an off day tomorrow as well yeah!

Bigger expectations of me this year.
Wanting to learn more and opening up more to people around me.
Going to learn more General Knowledge.
Learning how not to be fake.

A very belated posts. Flew back to Perth on my birthday!
Anyway to top things up! Festivities in the air.
Happy Chinese New Year! Gong Xi Fa Cai
Also Happy Australia Day!

Wow this past weeks have gone by fast and what I'm flying back home to Perth on my birthday. What a way to spend my 20th birthday alone and on a plane. Celebrated my birthday with my cousins yesterday at Dempsey's La Forketta

Things done in the Summer so far...
*Malaysia
*Attended a Wedding
*Hanged Out with the Cousins in Malaysia
*Ate good Malaysian Food
*Met Joni
*Met Yu Win and Kimberly
*Playing with my Nieces and Nephews
*Shopping at One Utama and The Curve
*Travelled Back to Singapore on New Years Eve
*Spend Time with the Aunties and Uncle's
*Aunt's Birthday at Marina Mandarin
*Met Up with Hong Yi, Emerald and Pearl
*Met Up with Jon, Angel, Liz, Caris, Jasmine for lunch

Had the most awesome time during the weekend.
Florence stayed over on Friday night after droping Bec off and drove me home.
Made avocado shake to share with Florence.
Hmm watched My Sassy Girl but didn't finish it because it was getting late.
Showed her family photos of me and Yu Min. Heheh was hilarious.
Talked for a bit as well.
Then on Saturday we decided to go city but the plans changed as we were walking to the station and it was raining heavily so we decided to go back home.
Decided together that we should go to Cockburn Shopping Centre instead of The City because it will be raining and we would probably do lots of walking.
Anyways first up we had lunch from Subway.
Meatball sub the only way to go!
Then a mango magic from boost.
JB Hi-Fi was next, bought Josh Groban's A Collection.
Went to the Surf Shop next to try on bathers.
They were nice and a reasonable price but wasn't comfortable in it so we didn't get it.
Florence was looking through a shop for housewarming gift for one of the leaders but in the end didn't get it.
After that we went into this shop Motif, can't really remember and then I found this dress which is something like a pencil skirt dress I think and tried it on.
Was contemplating of buying it or not but then again got approval from my dad.
Florence even liked it she decided to buy the same dress.
Woahh can't believe bought a dress for like close to $60.
Anyways after that we went back home.
Hanged out a bit watched this movie called La Vi En Rose or something about this French singer.
Decided to order Domino's Pizza for dinner but it took so long to arrive.
We ate Supreme and I also ordered a Zesty Ceasar Salad, omg it was like a big potion the salad sure filled me up and I only had like 2 pizzas I'm not joking eh.
Anyways it was nearly sun down so Florence had to go back home.
So that was the end of a perfect weekend I guess that we should be doing this again sometime soon hopefully.

It's draining me this feeling, this time, this emptiness.
It's been way too long.
If I could I would change things that I've messed up really badly.
The opportunities and chances that I've missed or even stop trying.
The friendships, the what to do and what not to do.
The what to say and the what not to say.
The how to act and the not suppose to act.
This uncertainty is just a period or should I say a phrase?
What will I be studying?
Will I be sucessful at what I'm doing?
Will I just love me for being me.
It's all just a blur right now but I know for one thing that it will all be ok in his time and that whatever happens now come what may.

Lots of things hav been gone on for this week.
Firstly my grandfather passed away on Tuesday.
Didn't even see him before that (so sad).
Aunt and Uncle from Melbourne flew down on Wednesday.
Jennifer and Florence came down to my place on Thursday and we hanged out watching Bollywood movie of Shahrukh Khan (omg hmmm!)
Attended the funeral on Saturday.

Haven't updated in a while so here goes.
Attended Aaron Tan's Farewell/Birthday Celebration.
Attended Angel's 21'st 1920's Theme Party.
Anyways will post up the pictures when the internet is not so laggy.

Woo Hoo it was the first time in a very long time since I've been out of the house.
Met up with Cassie in the city at Borders. Finally bought myself Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. After that went to 78's Records and JB Hi-Fi bought some cd's as well. Then came home after that. Had massive headache the entire time I was at home. Just realise that she should have gotten the original copy of Twilight but didn't because it was cheaper. She regrets her decision because if she buys the other books next time they will have all matching book cover/theme.

Last night was the first time that I tried baking Pineapple and Carrot cake.
It wasn't a success but it is still edible I guess.