It's all head knowledge that I know that I'm loved just the way I am.
But at times I just don't see it.
3 years has passed.
I've made promises and broken them.
I've regretted so many things not being done.
I don't even know who I am anymore.
I'm losing interest in my studies it's not the same.
Somehow I'm living a double life.
I may be laughing and all smiles on the outside but on the inside I'm crying and in pain.
I'm not as innocent as you think I am.
I've done something over and over again that I should never do and yet still.
I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH!!!

Haven't been blogging in such a long long time.
Anyways here's some pictures from Florence's Birthday BBQ at Kings Park which took place a few Sundays ago.

You Are An ESFP

The Performer You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others. A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic. You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally. You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic. In love, you are a smooth talker and incorrigible flirt. While you get into relationships easily, you don't tend to stick around when times get tough. At work, you do well in groups. You keep everyone laughing through difficult tasks. You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor. How you see yourself: Capable, fair, and efficient When other people don't get you, they see you as: Incompetent, stubborn, and silly

What's Your Personality Type?

Midnight Hour - Running Away
Don't lie and say that it's OK.
It's alright if, there's nothing more to say.
So I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

Don't tell me, I'm the one to blame.
It's too late for you to make me stay.
No, I won't stay.
So I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

And faster than you can follow me from this lonely place.
And farther than you can find me, I'm leaving
Yeah I'm leaving today.
And I, I'll never let you find me.
I'm leaving you behind with the past
No, I won't look back.
And I don't want to hear your reasons.
Don't want to hear you tell me why I should stay.

And try, and try to understand me
And try to understand what I say when I say I can't stay
I, I'm moving on from this place
I'm leaving and I won't quit running away.

I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

Currently loving these songs at the moment.
The Pretenders - I'll Stand By You
Delta Goodrem - In This Life
Elisa - Dancing

Anyways I got to get back to studying which I have been procrastinating. Assignment which I have no clue on what to do. Test result on Friday I think I did not to good in it.

On a lighter note I'm going to post up a few pictures.
Adrian Cooking
Amy, Jen, Danson, Seiji
Me & Pearl
Emerald & Me

Another day goes by and still same old same old.
Nothing new been happening.
Wishing for something but have to work hard for it.
Shouldn't be striving anymore.
Not on my own strength but his strength.
Not another day goes by with me having so many regrets.
I've given up to easily and so many times.
Just a little thought...Don't Give up!

Hmmmhh I've just been thinking.
This past few days I've been sleeping.
I've pretty much not done any work.
Been slacking heaps.
Probably in a day sleep about 8 hours or less and also been on the net for way way too long.
Hmmm yeah I should start studying.
It just doesn't feel the same.

Less then half way more to go.
Only 3 months left and I'm still slacking.
More than 8 weeks have past for Diploma but it all still seems blur for me.
I have to catch up on my assignments that are due soon I think.
Hmmmm I so not loving it!

I'm feeling so much better now.
I'm recovering but it still hurts.
The last few days I've been keeping myself in my room.
Practically reading manga online.
I should be studying but don't feel like it.

Changed of layout. Feeling a little different.
Hoping to starting a new within.
Trying so hard not to focus on the negative.
Look up to a BIG GOD!
Trying to remember that I'm His PRINCESS and nobody can take that away from me.
I'm currently sick at the moment and feeling pretty terrible.
I'm not going to back down!

Time and again you reached out to me.
Looking past my faults you see my destiny.
Your hand of love reached out to me and set me free.
I will praise you Jesus all my days Sing of all your great deeds and your ways.
I will love you now and ever more love so amazing I adore!
<>

Do I really mean what I say. Opportunities after opportunities given to me but yet I throw them all away. I don't know myself anymore I don't like who I've become. I've become lazy, disobedient, rebellious and lie. You've thought me everything but I still am weak so very weak. I rely to much on myself.

I'm so unhappy.

Here are some more pictures...

The Simpsons set with Jon,Fabian, Florence, Amy & Me

okok here are the pics from the girls slunber party at Amy Lee's place...

Group shot
Funny faces everyone
Flo plucking my eyebrows
Breakfast made by Drew

So bored now so I just decided to post up a few pictures up to entertain you all...
one big happy cell



Anyways tafe started this week.
So far all the classes are going good.
First week already and I have like assignments and they are like all due in on week 3.
Ahhhhh not fair!!!

Pictures promised from the previous post...
Strawberry Daquiri
Original Ice with PassionFruit Sauce
Damnn Delicious...

Update Update Update...Will put up the pictures another day when I load it into the computer!!!
Wednesday the 18th July
Wonderful time spent with my cousin and my aunt and uncle and my kong kong.
At 6.20pm my brother and me left the house to go to their place.
I absolutely love their new place at South Perth.
The rooms are really big and spacious.
Ate a banana at their house while waiting for che che Jac and kong kong.
About 7+pm we left the house.
My uncle drove all the way to Inglewood where the Itallian cafe that we were going for dinner.
For drink I ordered a Strawberry Daquiri and took a picture of it.
It was really sour and not enjoyable and pricey as well I bet I can make a better Daquiri that I learnt from Tafe.
I ordered Black & White Lingunie.
In it was prawns, capsicum, roasted pumpkin,crutons and semi-dried tomatoes.
It was so delicious, one of the nicest pastas that I've ever tasted.
Too bad I forgot to take a picture of it.
After dinner we decided to have dessert at Icey Ice.
I chose a Original Ice Regular with Passionfruit Sauce.
I took a picture of it.
It so delicious, one of the best ice-creams ever!!!
Then my uncle drove back home.
Played Wii with my cousin che che Jac and my brother.
Created a Wii character for me.
I played with che che Jac tennis and baseball.
I so sux at tennis.
Then after that played boxing with my brother.
I won 1 round and he won 2 riunds.
My arm was really sore after that.
We then borrowed Follow The Law a Singapore movie acted by Gurmit Singh and Fan Wong and also we finally got Ugly Betty.
Yeahh then we went home.
SUPER HAPPY AND SUPER FULL!!!
I LOVE THIS DAY FOREVER.
<3

Blimey blow me away...It's been a gazillion years since I blogged.
Holidays are here!
1 more week left till the start of school.
It's gone by so fast.
I've done absolutely nothing this time.
Was suppose to find a job but I can't be bothered.
Just a little update had a slumber party with some of the girls from church.
Did make up and stuff and Flo shaped my eyebrows for me.
They look alright I guess.
Yup also had dinner with Aunty Ruby and family.
Sleptover at their house as well.
Watched Harry Potter with Emerald, Pearl, Vinn, Terrence, Dylan and Daryl.
The company was really funny.
That's pretty much about it I guess.

Holidays so far have been good.
Watched Transformers on Tuesday with the gang.(Sam, Flo, Amy, Drew, Aaron, Jon, Fabian and my brother.)
Such a good movie I can't believe looking back I sort of grew up watching Transformer cartoon with my brother. (=
Yup after the movie we all went to Fast Eddies to eat!
Shared a Banana Split with my brother and sam.
Then Joni and Allan and Adrian joined us.
Was so hilarious.
Awesome time spent and hopefully get to know you guys better!

Yeahhh I'm currently on my mid term break at the moment.
I have to find a job soon.

Yeahhh anyways Friday was really a good day.
Had powerhouse at the light house and then after that went to Concass with Daniel, Florence, Aarron, Eddie, Chris, Joni, my brother and me.
I drank a chocolate milkshake and it tasted too bland.
Then we all disscussed about our experience in camp and how God touched as.
It was really awesome to hear other people's experience and also got encouragement from them as well.

Saturday was also another awesome day.
Firstly went with mom to Myers at Garden City.
I didn't get to buy anything but she bought my brother Jacket.
Then after that she brought me to Subiaco to eat the famous Creepes.
It was so delicious!
Saw aunty Sophia there and she was surprise to see us coming all the way from the south just to eat the creepes.
Then in the evening I went to help out at Brownlie Towers Karaoke night.
It was heaps good and funy...Fabian and Tian sing! Haha!
After that went to have supper with Alvin, Hui Fu, Jeremy, my brother at me at NorthBridge Billy Lee.
The food was so good and we ate like heaps!!!
Then after that we went back home to give mom her porridge.
Then me and my brother went to Drew's house for games!
It was so funny!
<3 <3 <3

HOLLA EVERYBODY... LONG TIME NO SEE!!!
Finally Tafe's over and I'm currently having my mid term break.
School will start again on the 24th of July.
Yeahh anyways was not to happy with myself.
Had to re-enroll in 2 subjects so that means my diploma I will only be doing some of the units and have to complete the other units like another time.
Hmmm anyways moving on.
Yeahh I came back from Agape camp on tuesday.
Camp was awesome, it's so different from previous camps.
Yeah the people in my dorm were Jess Tran, Flo, Flick, Monique, Amy Loh and Janice.
Anyways my game group was called Sappers. Cool heh I think it means demolition engineers eg those people blowing up buildings.
Mmmh we were learning about from the book of Nehemiah.
About how Nehemiah rebuild the walls and how there were opposition against him but how God stood by him. It also talked about how to restore our broken walls and also how to rest in God.
In camp I spent the most time with So-En and also made new friends like Jacquline, Samantha.
The food at camp was really good and we ate lots and lots like maybe 6 meals a day.
The worship was really awesome, something different, something new.
Yeah also had some encouragement/word from God from people telling me that I'm Special in his eyes. That I'm his precious daughter. That he has a plan and future for me and that I don't have to worry and also don't have to compare myself with anyone else. Even all these things said it did made me feel a little better. I know all these and everything I've done and learnt it's a process between me and Him. I know my ways are wrong and I know I want to change. It will take time and I am willing!