Who Am I - Casting Crowns

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

Prodigal - Casting Crown

Living on my own, thinking for myself
Castles in the sand, temporary wealth
Walls are falling down, storms are closing in
Tears have filled my eyes, here I am again

And I've held out as long as I can
Now I'm letting go and holding out my hand

Daddy, here I am again
Will You take me back tonight
I went and made the world my friend
And it left me high and dry
I drag Your name back through the mud
That You first found me in
Not worthy to be called Your son
Is this to be my end
Daddy, here I am
Here I am again

Curse this morning sun
Drags me in to one more day
Of reaping what I've sown
Of living with my shame
Welcome to my world
And the life that I have made
Where one day you're a prince
The next day you're a slave

Tis been a long journey been picking up bits and pieces together which I've left out for a long time.
I am used to the same old routine but in the matter of fact it's pointless and useless and doesn't really benefit that much.
Why can't I just leave it all behind me.
Be the one I'm suppose to be.
I can't go back in time to change my past mistakes.
Been living in the shadow of my mistakes.
Who am I?
Who do I want to be?
Where do I see myself in the next half of the year?

I don't have a bed to sleep in because my dad moved it to the new place.
So currently I'm sleeping on the couch!
Pretty much been busy with assignments that are due this week and tests that are this week as well.
Housekeeping work placement will start next week for 2 weeks on a Tuesday.
I'm not quite enjoying my course.
Countless times I just want to give up on it but I have to finish it even though it makes no sense to me.
Too much thoughts of If Only, Me, Regrets, The Only One, Stupid, HS Dropout... This List Goes On and On...


Stellar Kart - Me And Jesus lyrics

When there's nowhere else to turn
All your bridges have been burned
Feels like you've hit rock bottom
Don't give up it's not the end
Open up your heart again
When you feel like no one
Understands where you are

[chorus]
Someone loves you even when you don't think so don't you know you got
Me and Jesus by your side through the fight you will never be alone on your own you got me and jesus

After all that we've been through
Be now you know i've doubted too
But everytime my head was in my
Hands you siad to me
Hold on to what we got
This is worth any cost so
Make the most of life
That's borrowed
Love like there's no tomorrow

It's 1:05am and it is raining now and I am making a post.
On Friday was ONE which is a combine gathering between Fyre and Agape.
I volunteered to help Adrian with cooking French Onion soup.
The worship was awesome, I haven't felt like that in ages.
The message got me thinking about somethings anyways the food was so delicious.
French Onion soup with toasted cheesy bread on a cold night that sure warmed me up.
I didn't go church on Sunday because I had to do assignments.
Missed out on the skit for Mother's Day.
Had dinner at South Ocean with the usual people like Uncle Edmund's family and Uncle Sam's family.
Watched soccer at Hannah's place on Sunday night, the match was Manchester United vs Wigan and Manchester United won.
Today I handed in my Budgets assignment which I was working on it since about 12:30am till about 5:00am.
Pretty much have lots and lots of assignments to do and I don't quite know how to do them.
Anyways it's so late now so I'm off for now!
Toodle, till next time. Adious! Ciao!

I got to get back to the basics.
I got to get back to the foundation.
I got to get my priorities right.
So many got to's and no action.
I've lost sight of my vision somewhere along the line.
I've been circling and circling around the same type of problems and infact it's making me tired.
I want to give up but I can't!
I have to give it all to the one who loves me the most but I do find that difficult.
It's like I'm running away but I'm not backing down.
Something in me does not want to give up.

Was just thinking of something then this song popped into my head.


Forgetting what lies behind
Setting our hearts on the prize
Always keeping our eyes on our Lord Jesus
We’re running the race to win
All the way to the end
Laying down every sin
That would seek to hinder us
Chorus
And we’ll be faithful to our calling
For You are able to keep us from falling
And in Your promise, we will trust
You’ll be faithful to finish the works
You’ve began on us

My heart hurts.
Both emotionally, physically and maybe even spiritually.
Maybe I should start eating healthy and keep fit by exercising.
Maybe that's why I get headaches often and feel out of breath lately and also can't concentrate properly.
Plenty of times I put on a don't care attitude and act all blur but in fact I'm lost in thoughts somewhere and just need to talk it all out.
I'm still undecided about a lot of things, I want to experience things and life and have good friendship with other people.

Stop and stare I think I'm moving but I go nowhere.
That's how I feel sometimes.
It comes to the point of my life that what I do now doesn't make much sense.
I want to go back but I can't so just have to move forward.
I know I am accepted and loved by people who care for me and Jesus but somehow it doesn't click.
There's so much more to life.
The joy of the lord is my strength.

What I feel sometimes!


I can honestly say that I'm not a true friend!
I left my high school friends without saying anything or sharing anything about myself or problems face through the past x amount of years. So sorry!
I've been living in the days of the past while I should be enjoying life in the now.

Anyways today was an ok day.
In tafe passed my monitor work operations test which in fact I did study.
Had budgets class which was alright didn't do much but some workings which now I understand.
Had to stay behind to do some Fidelio work which I'm behind but I've already catched up in it.
Anyways took care of my nephew today for awhile because Sean had his graduation to attend.

Frustrated at my ownself.
Lost in my own way.
Looking for ways out but there's perseverance in there somewhere.
Only know how to disappoint my family and make them angry.
Pretty much keep everything in and not share with anyone.
Been doing that for the past x amount of years.
Don't even know what my future will hold for me.
Old habits die hard.
I underestimate myself!
ARHHH!!!

What a glorious day yesterday. I attended Joslyn and Joseph's Wedding!
Congratulation to both of you may this journey bring you closer to God.
After the wedding we went to Heathcote to take pictures and then we played cricket.
I think I got sun burnt a bit so can't be bothered writing.

Just finishing the fourth week of Tafe. Lots of assignments and a lot of the work is getting harder. Missed out on movie night on Tuesday because of the morning's events. No more hopping and aimless wandering around. I want to change for the better. Life is not about worrying I should live life with joy and spent quality time with friends that I care about. It's been far too long that I've kept things in and running away from them. I want to shout out loud that I am loved by the almighty Jesus! Getting on with it I've been busy packing...NOT REALLY felt really lazy and not motivated to do anything. Just been sticking onto the laptop and just surfing the net and reading manga when I know I'm supposed to help out in the house.

Year 2008, a new year, new beginnings, new hope, new friends! It's now already the 2nd last week of February. Time has gone by so fast. Currently into the 3rd week of Tafe and so far things are coming out smoothly. This semester units are somewhat difficult for me and also there is a lot of group work and assessment. Somehow starting from somewhere I need to communicate and relate to my friends and not be shy and just be open and not keep things in too much. I don't want to be the same person I was before! I want to look forward and try not to look behind at the past. What's past is past now is the present. Trying not to hold back! Don't want to be lazy. Even though some units I am doing again, even though some people might think I'm stupid and laugh at me I want to not feel bothered about what their thoughts are. I just want to be the real me, the one who can find happiness, the one who has hope, faith, strength to believe that all things are possible in Christ Jesus and to realize that I am not alone!

Holidays are about to end! Been in Singapore shopping away, eating lots of food, catching up with friends and relatives. Gosh I've put on a lot of weight yet again.

I've decided to start a new blog because it's been a while and I wanted something new to write on and also maybe it's time to look up and not pity myself to much.

It's holiday time and I am back in Singapore.
Time to enjoy and time to suffer. You know why suffer because when I come back my eye gets really irritated and itchy and it gets really red.
The good thing is that I get to go out with relatives and eat and also do lots of shopping!!!

Anyways friday was family cell bbq.

Week 16 Tafe is gone. Only have 3 weeks left of Tafe. It's been really stressful with assignments and group work. I can't wait for the holidays! Yeah anyways this past week has been really hot. Over 30+ degrees, so hot until cannot stand! AHHHH I don't like it! Besides Tafe not much has been happening.

Okayy haven't been updating for a long time now.
I'm just going to post about my brother's 21st birthday.
On sunday the 4th of november my brother celebrated his birthday at Hana BBQ with church friends, high school friends and family.
I'll post the photos up another time because somehow the server seems busy and I can't upload any pics.
Once again,HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY YU MIN ONG MY BROTHER!!!